They Told Me I Am A Woman

Hello! Dear Society.
I’m a little confused.
Help me. Will you?
You see, they told me I am a woman.
And that I can be whoever I want to be.
But then again,
They called me a goddess,
And worshipped me during Kanya Pooja.
“Be pure. You’re a kanya.” They said.
“Don’t bleed in the temple.” They said.
Well, wasn’t I supposed to be just a woman?
And not a goddess?
At least that’s what my birth certificate said!

I’m a little confused.
Help me. Will you?
My family after dinner,
Was watching TV together.
And there lay my brother –
On the couch, with legs wide open.
Meanwhile, I was engrossed in the show.
And my leg slipped a little.
And my mother said,
“Sit properly. Don’t make a show!”
Well, are we supposed to have different rules?
Because my doctor never mentioned it when I was born!

I’m a little confused.
Help me. Will you?
My father said he loved me.
I think he loved me too much that day,

I think he loved me too much that day,
When he slipped his hands inside my T-shirt,
To feel my growing breasts.
Or that day, when he pretended to hug me.
When nobody was there.
And slowly tried to undress me.
I told this to my mother.
And she said,
“Wear proper clothes. Don’t go too close!
You know how men are!”
I’m sorry. Help me a little here.
“Is child abuse not important to you?”
I asked.
“What will the society say?”
She asked.

I’m a little confused.
Help me. Will you?
My brother casually called me Moti,
And my uncle joined the fun.
I told this to my mother,
And she laughed.
“Take it as a motivation. Drop those pounds.
Otherwise, who will marry you?”
She asked.
Wait, then,
Was my class teacher lying,
When she said, “Beauty is on the inside?”

I’m a little confused.
Help me. Will you?
I celebrated my parents’ 25th Wedding Anniversary.
And thought, ” Their love will always be in my memory.”
And just then my mother interrupted my thoughts,
“Marriage is a game”, she said.

“Learn to make round rotis,
And stop having so many boyfriends!”
She said.
I’m sorry,
Did I just get the definition of love wrong?

I’m a little confused.
Help me. Will you?
I thought I am a woman.
And that I can be whoever I want to be.
But nobody told me,
That I am supposed to dress and sit and eat when and how the society tells me to!
I’m a little confused. Pardon me.
I’m here blaming society,
When my own parents think of me as a property!

Author: Shamli Sonsale
IG: @once_upon_a_candid_time

2 COMMENTS

  1. Straight into the Face! It takes a lot of Courage to Express all the Supressed Emotions! Each and every Word conveys the Deep Agony a Girl carries in her Heart! Hats Off Shamli! You are Encouraging many to Speak up!

  2. Damn! It hit hard and deep! Nothing could describe it more beautifully. Loved each expression. Wonderfully written my girl❤️

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